


Carry Me Home

by lollysfic



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8168846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lollysfic/pseuds/lollysfic
Summary: Can Mark and Gary's relationship finally become something more after years of missed chances





	

_One day maybe we can have it all_  
_One day maybe it will hurt no more_  
_Open your arms and let me fall right in_

The situation comes to a head after the Apple Music festival. The tension between Mark and Gary has reached breaking point; they can't deny themselves and their feelings for each other anymore. Over the years there have been so many almosts, so many missed chances but now it is their time to finally be together. 

~*~

The first time was in 1993. Take That were at the height of their success, and Gary was working on songs for the new album when he wrote “Babe” for Mark. Gary always thought Mark's voice was so sweet and the man was so lovely; he deserved a song. 

It also might have had something to do with Gary's huge crush on the younger man. He'd fancied Mark from the day they met. He was gorgeous and funny and kind and had the most beautiful smile that Gary had ever seen and he melted every time Mark aimed it in his direction. Gary was uncharacteristically nervous when telling Mark about the song, but of course, Mark was over the moon about it and threw his arms around Gary, squeezing him tight. Gary hugged him back just as tightly and couldn't stop smiling. 

When Gary played Mark the demo he kept his eyes trained on the other man, cataloging his facial expressions while they listened to it. 

"Watcha think?" Gary asked when the track stopped.

"It's beautiful, Gaz, thank you," Mark replied. He had tears in his eyes. 

It was late and they were the only two people in the studio. Mark approached Gary.

"Why did you write a song for me and not one of the other boys?" Mark asked.

Gary could feel a blush rising on his cheeks and looked down at his trainers, avoiding Mark's gaze.

"Well, you're the fans’ favourite; they'll go even more mad for ya hearing you sing lead on a song, and you've got such a sweet voice, Marky. You deserve it," Gary replied, his voice full of warmth. 

"Thanks, Gaz." 

Mark felt so insecure about his place in the band over the last few years; they could easily replace him. Sure, he got the most fan mail but what did that matter when he didn't have that much talent. Gary was an amazing singer and an incredible songwriter, Robbie was a showman, Howard and Jason were fantastic dancers and they both had great voices that made the songs what they were. Mark was just an okay singer and average dancer. His winning smile and boyish good looks could only get him so far in life so the fact that Gary wrote a song especially for him made him so happy. Gary believed in him and thought he was good enough to sing lead, even said that it should be released as a single. Gary's support meant the world to Mark and it made him fall for Gary even more than he already had.

Mark was standing so close to Gary their arms were touching. His eyes were fixed on the songwriter, who looked up and gave Mark a sweet smile. Mark's heart hammered in his chest and his palms started to sweat. He gripped Gary's arm and leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He pulled away but stayed close the other man. Their eyes met and they stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime but was really only a few seconds. Gary licked his lips and Mark followed the motion with his eyes. He leaned in again, his eyes focused on Gary's mouth, their lips so close now that their breaths mingled.

And then Gary pulled away.

"I'll book you in to record it next week," Gary said, his voice hoarse because his mouth was so dry.

Gary turned away from Mark his breathing ragged and feeling like an idiot for not kissing the younger man. He should have grabbed Mark and snogged him senseless and then taken him to dinner at a posh restaurant. Mark deserved the world but as they were about to kiss so many thoughts raced through Gary's head. He couldn't start something with Mark. If he did, he would fall completely in love with him, and if it ended badly, it would kill Gary. Or even if they did get together and kept it a secret, it would affect the band in a massive way, and things were hard enough in Take That as it was.

Mark had been open about his sexuality from the start, admitting that he was bisexual when Nigel asked if they had anything to tell him. It didn't really matter because, whether they had a girlfriend or a boyfriend, they had to lie and say they were single. Gary wanted a solo career after the band, and if they were discovered it could jeopardize that. It was so selfish but Gary couldn't help the unbidden thoughts racing through his head, so he'd pulled away, and his heart broke at the hurt that flashed across Mark's face. 

"Yeah sounds good. Actually, I have to go, Gary, I said I'd meet Rob for a drink." 

Mark pulled on his denim jacket, avoiding Gary's eyes as he said goodbye and left the studio.  
Gary sat there on his own for another hour, listening to the demo of “Babe” on repeat. He couldn't give Mark the world. He hoped this song would do for now.

~*~

The second time was in 2003 when Mark stayed at Gary’s house for a week. They had of course kept in touch over the years, mainly through phone calls and the occasional dinner. After Gary was dropped from his record label he'd become much more reclusive, holed up in home with his pianos trying to write another hit record.

After Mark won Celebrity Big Brother in 2002, Gary called him to congratulate him and so when Mark was writing and recording his second album he'd mentioned the idea of writing together to Gary. Mark didn't know if Gary would even want to write with him but the other man jumped at the chance and invited Mark to stay with him. 

They had an amazing week. Mark felt like he was at a hotel as Gary took such good care of him. The writing and recording sessions were so much fun too; they had feared that their writing styles would clash or that they wouldn't have any inspiration, but it was the opposite, and they wrote some amazing songs together that Mark was really proud of.

"You've become a really talented songwriter, Marko. It's been great these last few days."

Gary hadn't stopped smiling and laughing the whole time Mark was in his home. The other man was a joy to be around and they had so much fun writing and recording together, and just catching up on each other's lives and getting to know each other again. 

The night before Mark was due to leave they had too much red wine and the topic of conversation turned to a night ten years ago.

"Gaz, remember that night we were at the studio and you played me “Babe” for the first time? …Why did you pull away when I was about to kiss you?” 

Mark stared at Gary, desperately wanting an answer to something that had been bothering him for the last ten years. 

“I wanted to kiss you so badly. And I know that you wanted to kiss me too, I saw how nervous you were, but you just pulled away and completely shut down. You never opened up to me as much after that night. What happened?"

"There were so many reasons, Mark, what does it matter now? Anyway, you went off and shagged Robbie instead."

"Rob and I fooled around but we were just best mates."

"Right,“ Gary rolled his eyes.

"Oh, fuck you, Gaz. You don't get to make judgment about who I fuck when you had your chance and didn't do anything about it. Just because you hate Rob doesn't mean that I do. You're both my mates and I'm not gonna choose sides."

"Then why didn't you get your mate Rob to help you with your album? Why did you ask me?" Gary sneered.

Their voices had risen as they argued but all the fight rushed out of Mark as quickly as it arrived. He could see the desperation in Gary's eyes, the need to feel validated, the same way Mark had felt ten years ago. He placed their glasses on the coffee table and took Gary's hand. 

"Yeah, Rob has had amazing success and he is a brilliant songwriter, but Gary Barlow is still and always will be the best songwriter I've ever known. Gaz, you're patient and encouraging and you write the most beautiful lyrics. You're so smart and have so much knowledge about music. Rob is chaos and you're calm, which is exactly what I need and want for this album. That's why I asked you to help me."

Mark squeezed Gary's hand and went to let go but Gary stopped him and laced their fingers together. 

"I'm so sorry, Marky. Sorry for kicking off when we were having a lovely night. I just have a lot issues and insecurities and animosity towards Rob but you know that I don't care that you're still friends. You'll never have to choose when it comes to me and Rob. As long as we stay friends, I don't care who you spend time with."

"I shouldn't have brought up the past, Gaz, that's where it should be left."

"No, Marko, you deserve an explanation. The reason I didn't kiss you that night was because I was a coward and a complete twat. I was scared. Scared that I’d hurt you or that I'd lose you, scared that if something happened it would ruin the band or ruin a chance of a solo career. I managed to do that all by myself, eh? …I'm so sorry, Mark, I know I hurt you and I should have talked to you about it but at the time it felt easier just to keep things between us strictly friendly. It hurt me so much to pull away from you that night. I wanted to kiss you so badly."

Mark gazed at Gary, and his eyes were big and shining. They were still holding hands.

"You could kiss me now," Mark said softly.

Gary looked at the younger man sadly.

"I can't. I'm so sorry but I can't right now. My life is a mess. I need to work on myself and figure out what I want to do before I even think about getting involved with someone, even someone as incredible as you, Mark."

"It's okay, Gaz, I understand completely, I honestly do. Just do me one thing: promise me you won't give up music, okay? Music is your destiny, whether it's writing or producing or singing. You're far too talented to even think of pursuing a different career."

"I promise, Marky."

They clinked their wine glasses to seal that promise.

~*~

The next time it happens is in 2008 after the Brit Awards. They win two and they're all completely buzzing.  
Mark and Gary drink a lot champagne and wine, and they share a drunken kiss in a dark corner booth at the after party. It's sloppy and desperate; Gary's hand is in Mark's hair while Mark is practically sitting in Gary's lap. The kiss only lasts about thirty seconds before they break apart at the sound of their band mates voices outside the booth.

The next morning they both wake in their own hotel rooms with the worst hangover imaginable. When they all meet for breakfast, Gary mentions that he must have blacked out because he doesn't remember even going to the after party. He doesn't remember the kiss and Mark pretends that he doesn't.

~*~

In 2012, Mark joins Gary onstage in Manchester to sing “Shine” together. They have a great time and they hug each other tight after the song ends and Mark kisses Gary in front of a crowd of thousands. It was completely accidental; he had meant to kiss Gary's cheek but found the other man's mouth instead. Mark rushes off stage, and after the concert is over, Gary finds him in his dressing room. 

They go for dinner together and neither of them mentions the kiss. They go to their hotel and have a night cap -- Gary has whisky and Mark has coffee -- and still neither of them mentions it. 

Gary had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner and now the whisky is going to his head. He can't stop thinking about the kiss onstage. Mark's lips were on his for just a second but he can still feel the phantom press of them. They were full and soft and Gary just wants to stride over to his friend, grab him by the waistcoat and remind himself just how great Mark's lips feel on his. But he can't. 

The kiss probably meant nothing, just a quick friendly peck; Mark always has been a tactile person, unafraid to show affection with hugs and kisses. Besides, and it should be the first thing he thought of, he has a girlfriend, he's in a serious relationship with a woman, and he should not be thinking about snogging Mark Owen. But that’s the thing, it's Mark, and Gary will never not have feelings or be attracted to the other man. 

They weren't meant to be, though. Over the years, work, relationships, and his own stupidity got in the way of them getting together and taking their friendship over the thin line into an actual relationship. Gary thinks they would have been amazing together but it's too late now and Gary must accept that. 

Gary makes his excuses about being tired and needing rest for his voice. Mark understands, finishes his coffee, and gives Gary a hug before saying goodbye. Gary hugs him back tightly, burying his nose in Mark's hair for a second, breathing in the fresh scent of his shampoo before pulling away. 

"I'm so proud of you, Gaz, you were incredible on stage tonight," Mark says as he heads toward the door.

"Thanks, Marky, you were pretty fantastic yourself. Thank you for everything." 

Mark looks over his shoulder and smiles at him. "You're welcome, Gaz. Goodnight."

Gary says goodnight to Mark and lets out a deep breath when the door clicks shut. He pushes the longing he feels away and calls his girlfriend.

~*~

Over the next three years so much happens to the two men. Gary finishes his tour and leaves X Factor, and breaks up with his girlfriend a year after that night in Manchester; he and Nicole were always better off as friends. Mark releases a fantastic solo album and tours the country, leaving a heartbroken trail of men and women in his wake. 

They keep in touch constantly and discuss Take That recording an album again, and when they do that in 2014 it's a fantastic experience. They record an incredible album with beautiful songs that the three of them have written together. 

When Jason confirms that he isn't coming back to the band, it hits them all extremely hard. 

They pick themselves up, announce that they are continuing as a trio and with the unwavering support from the fans they finish the album. The response to it is incredible, and when the Apple Music festival idea is pitched to them they agree immediately. They want to do it as a thank you to the fans who have supported them through everything. Getting to play such an intimate gig is a huge draw, too, as they don't get to do that very often. 

Life since the release of the album has been a whirlwind of excitement and fun. Being in Take That has been better than it ever was -- Gary, Mark and Howard have all become closer, they're always honest with each other and feel like they confide in each other about anything. The success of “These Days” and the album has inspired them to keep going, to keeping writing and recording and they're all extremely excited to start working on another album as a trio. Gary and Mark have become even closer over these last few months, too; with Howard getting married and them both being single they end up spending a lot of time together writing and recording music, watching movies together, having dinner, going shopping and having a lot fun. This time it feels different; they've both matured and been through so much and the connection between them has just grown stronger over the last year. The last few months feel like they've been leading up to something, but both men have been too afraid to make the first move, both fearful of how the other man will react. So they've ended up in limbo, suspended between friendship and something more. 

They're all extremely excited to play the Roundhouse, a beautiful venue that they've never played before.  
The gig itself is incredible. The crowd is amazing, singing along to every song at the top of their voices and showing them so much love and support. The three men have the time of their lives onstage, grinning at each other and supporting each other and singing the incredible songs that they've created together. 

Mark and Gary cannot take their eyes off each other for so much of the gig. They smile and flirt and sing the songs to each other. Mark praises Gary's singing on “Pray” and vice versa on “Up All Night”. When Mark sings "the one that I can always depend" to Gary during “Patience” he does so with so much emotion, because no matter what has happened or not happened between them over the years, Mark knows that Gary will always be in his life, as a friend or something more. They support and care about each other no matter what. 

When Gary removes his jacket and the fans wolf whistle at him, Mark wants to join in; he can't help but stare at Gary's gorgeous arms clad in just a black t-shirt. Gary may have become a style icon while Mark was recording his solo album but Mark thinks he looks sexiest in just a plain t-shirt that shows off his muscular arms and broad shoulders. Likewise for Gary, he can't take his eyes off his younger band mate during the show. Mark looks so beautiful when he's performing; he gets lost in the ballads and dances and acts so silly during the up-tempo songs. He interacts with the crowd, his gorgeous brown hair flopping everywhere and that award winning smile never leaving his face. He is mesmerizing and it gives Gary butterflies. He loves seeing Mark so happy after everything he's been through over the last few years. 

When the three men get off stage they can't stop smiling and are amazed at how incredible the show was. They have a group hug and high five each other and hug each other again, high on adrenaline and happiness. Howard goes off to chat to Mike and the band, leaving Gary and Mark wrapped tightly in each other's arms. They pull away still laughing and grinning. 

"Great show, lad."

"Not bad yourself, Mister Barlow," Mark replies, a cheeky grin on his face. 

They still have their arms around each other, neither man wanting to break their hold or ruin the atmosphere and tension that seems to have settled around them. The two men get lost in each other.

"What are we doing, Mark?" Gary asks, his tone serious and voice quiet.

"Well, Gaz, we just played an amazing show…" Mark starts to joke until he sees the look on Gary's face. "What do you mean?" he then asks.

"These past few months have felt so special. I thought I'd given up on the hope that we could be together, and just when I think I'm getting over you, you reel me back in with your gorgeous smile that still makes me melt and your beautiful song lyrics and your infectious personality. I'm in love with you, Mark. I always have been and probably always will be, and I want to be with you in every way possible, and I hope that you still might want that too," Gary voice cracks, full of emotion as he admits his love for the other man. 

Mark stares at Gary, his eyes wide and wet with tears. 

"I want that more than anything else in the world," Mark admits, his face cracking into the most blinding smile that Gary has ever seen, a smile that's only for him. 

Gary laughs and pulls Mark closer by his neck tie and finally kisses him like he's been wanting to for nearly 25 years. 

Mark sighs into the kiss and wraps his arms around Gary's broad shoulders while Gary automatically wraps his arms around Mark's waist.

The kiss is hot and desperate; they have both wanted this for so long. Their lips meet again and again and Gary licks into Mark's mouth, sliding his tongue against Mark's, making the other man moan softly. 

"About bloody time!" Howard shouts. 

Gary and Mark break apart embarrassed as they realise that they've just snogged each other in a green room full of their friends. They look at each other and start laughing. 

"I thought I was gonna have to shove you two into a cupboard until you finally shagged. The sexual tension has been killing us," Howard added.

"They were gonna find out sooner or later," Mark says. 

"I much prefer sooner," Gary replies.

"Oh, and if you didn't know, I love you too." Mark says and leans in to kiss Gary again, just a gentle press of lips before he takes the older man's hand and they join Howard and the band in celebrating an incredible gig and the beginning of a future neither of them was sure was ever going to be possible.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Take That Fan Fiction challenge. I had a lot of fun writing this and especially writing for this pairing again. Thank you to the mods for organizing this challenge. 
> 
> I had the idea for this fic based on the song choices I was given, I chose Carry Me Home and the idea really came together after watching video of Take That at the Apple Music festival in 2015. Beta'd by the wonderful Clara who really pulled this fic into shape, I can't thank her enough.
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. :)


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